Book 1, Post 2: Unanswered Questions
After getting further through the book “American Like Me,” by America Ferrera, one thing that really struck me was America’s relationship with her father. In the book, America visits her father’s grave in Honduras even though she had lost contact with him when he left their family and went back to Honduras when she was seven years old. What struck me about their relationship, and what Ferrera mentions in the book, is unanswered questions. Ferrera mentions that she never had an answer as to why her father abandoned her, and that she buried her feelings regarding her father growing up rather than finding closure and moving on. So, it made me think of a question: is it better to know or not why close relationships come to an end? Better yet, is it a good idea to rekindle a relationship that has been lost?
We all probably have someone that we’ve lost touch with. In Ferrera’s case, that relationship was with her father, and it had an abrupt ending when he left her family and moved back to Honduras from America. While some endings embody a similar extremity, some relationships fizzle out. It’s strange how someone can be such a large part of your life at one moment and then next thing they’re not. Depending on the circumstances of the relationship, you might not care that you no longer have that relationship. But, generally, I find it that most people tend to reminisce on the good parts and ask themselves the infamous question: what happened?
What I find interesting about these particular relationships is that there is generally a loss on both ends. In Ferrera’s situation, her father lost his connections with his family, and she lost a connection with her father, and she lost answers to questions that we all wonder when a relationship is terminated. Do you still care about? Do you ever think of me? Why did you do what you did? These are tough questions to be addressed for a relationship that has fizzled out. Yet, I think most people find it nice to have closure. Some people may not have to seek closure as its evident as to why the relationship ended. However, others might not be satisfied as to how a relationship ended.
So, another question lingers: is it more painful to or not to receive the closure that some people seek? In Ferrera’s case, she was very upset she didn’t get the answers she wanted. However, I’ve seen other situations where relationships very well dig their grave even deeper once they visit the hard-hitting questions. It’s quite a dilemma. I believe this dilemma might be what halts individuals from seeking answers pertaining to fallen out relationships. At the end of the day, I know that I would like to know the answers. However, some might not want to know as it could be too hard to hear.
We all probably have someone that we’ve lost touch with. In Ferrera’s case, that relationship was with her father, and it had an abrupt ending when he left her family and moved back to Honduras from America. While some endings embody a similar extremity, some relationships fizzle out. It’s strange how someone can be such a large part of your life at one moment and then next thing they’re not. Depending on the circumstances of the relationship, you might not care that you no longer have that relationship. But, generally, I find it that most people tend to reminisce on the good parts and ask themselves the infamous question: what happened?
What I find interesting about these particular relationships is that there is generally a loss on both ends. In Ferrera’s situation, her father lost his connections with his family, and she lost a connection with her father, and she lost answers to questions that we all wonder when a relationship is terminated. Do you still care about? Do you ever think of me? Why did you do what you did? These are tough questions to be addressed for a relationship that has fizzled out. Yet, I think most people find it nice to have closure. Some people may not have to seek closure as its evident as to why the relationship ended. However, others might not be satisfied as to how a relationship ended.
So, another question lingers: is it more painful to or not to receive the closure that some people seek? In Ferrera’s case, she was very upset she didn’t get the answers she wanted. However, I’ve seen other situations where relationships very well dig their grave even deeper once they visit the hard-hitting questions. It’s quite a dilemma. I believe this dilemma might be what halts individuals from seeking answers pertaining to fallen out relationships. At the end of the day, I know that I would like to know the answers. However, some might not want to know as it could be too hard to hear.
Hi Jack! I really liked how you connected America's experience to one faced by many people. I, like many others, have lost relationships in the past and I also believe it is important to receive closure.
ReplyDeleteHey Jack, I really liked your analysis of her book. I think you did a great job making a connection between relationships and closure, great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Jack! I really liked the questions you posed after reading about Ferrera's relationship with her dad, and unanswered questions. It seems like this autobiography encourages important conversations, and challenges people's perceptions and feelings. I want to read the book now to reflect on my own relationships with people I may have grown distant with, and hold unanswered questions.
ReplyDeleteHey Jack. I liked that you came up with your own questions after reading the book. I also have a hard time between wanting to have closure in situations like these and not being able to have it. Sometimes it's for the better that we don't think of what could have been.
ReplyDeleteHey Jack! I love how you asked questions during your reflection. It's intriguing to consider whether knowing the reasons behind a relationship's end brings peace or more pain. I personally think it is easier to not ponder what could have been.
ReplyDeleteHey Jack, I think your thought process about unanswered questions after parting ways is very interesting. I for one would nearly always want to have answers to my question as that helps me move on, but I understand that for some people, ignorance is easier.
ReplyDeleteGreat post Jack. I liked how you posed a question for the theme of your blog and it really got me thinking about whether or not closure is always necessary. Interpersonal relationships are complex and losing people like this out of nowhere is a hardship that almost everyone can relate to.
ReplyDeleteHi Jack! You posed an interesting question at the beginning. I think it is better to know why a close relationship came to an end because it helps everyone get the closure they deserve. It seems like a very powerful book.
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