Book 1, Post 1: The Indirect Expression of Love

I chose"American Like Me," because I was interested to listening to all of the short stories compiled by the author, America Ferrera. The book has been a great read, and it's intriguing to hear the backgrounds of individuals I am and am not familiar with and how their upbringing in America unfolded. The book has made many impressions on me, as many of the short stories share different experiences from one another that all vary from my upbringing in America. However, here is one of the main impressions that I have gotten from the novel:

Love has many avenues in which it can be expressed, as I've found out from reading "American Like Me" by America Ferrera. Some people are better at displaying love than others, while some express love in other ways than the traditional gestures tied to the feeling. When I think of love, I think of how people express love to one another when they are with someone else. This could be as simple as stating, "I love you," or other actions such as romantic gestures, or maybe even a parent telling their child that they would die for them (as some parents tend to tell us). However, I've never put much thought to the other ways love can be expressed to another being, even though those expressions may not be made directly to the individual.

In "American Like Me," many of the short stories highlight how love is showcased through indirect ways. A recurring way love has been portrayed through the novel's short stories include many immigrant families choosing to move to America to give their children more prosperous futures. Moving from one country to another to provide a better future for your children is surely a gesture that highlights love. However, many don't take into consideration all of the other actions that supplement that one, very large gesture. These actions all together emphasize a love that I was not aware of, as its intense, yet not expressed directly to the individual its intended for. In particular, Randall Parks story really stood out to me because his parents way of showcasing their love to him and his siblings was not what I associated with the traditional narrative of love, as he even notes in the passage. 

Park says that his parents way of showing love was to have a full meal on the table and to make sure that their children studied instead of partaking in drugs. While I do understand how these actions correlate to the feeling, I've never associated such actions with love. I assumed that it was more so a responsibility that parents would check off their daily things to do. An action with no love behind it as it was merely a chore. Furthermore, Park also talks about how his father and mother had to say goodbye to their culture and families to move to a new country where they would have no friends, be forced to assimilate to a culture to be accepted, and be working consistently to support their family. Having to give up so much for a future that isn't attractive with the hope that your child will have a more opportunistic future really is a grand way to showcase your love. Although you never state it, and never make it aware to the individual your expressing your love to. 

As I go through the passages in "American Like Me," I realize that this indirect form of love takes the form of sacrifices. Love is easily demonstrated through what others are willing to give up in order to provide for another. It does not need to be directly expressed in order to be present. It can be on the spectrum of extreme to not extreme, whether thats changing your names and dropping your accent like Reshma Saujani's parents to be financially stable (extreme), or something more simple like putting dinner on the table (not extreme).

Although my upbringing was not similar to any of those that I have read so far, the idea of indirect love has left me reevaluating some of my parents actions that I associate with their parental duties. Although they are responsibilities that are assumed to come with the job of being a parent, that doesn't necessarily mean any parent is required to do them. Furthermore, actually put effort into doing them. Therefore, you may want to take into consideration both the small and large actions taken by your parents, while some may not appear, but are, an indirect expression of love.